November First

Two years. Its been two years, today, since I was rear-ended and my life changed. Nobody ever expects bad things to happen to them or for their life to change in an instant, but it often does and so unexpectedly.

For me it was on a Tuesday morning, on my way to the doctors office to go to yet another doctor to find a solution to this unexplained back pain I was having, when I was  suddenly rear-ended. Ironic isn’t, that I would get in a car accident on my way to a doctors appointment for pain… And my life would change in an instant.

At first I was in the normal amount of pain one experiences from getting rear-ended, my head hurt and I was sore all over. But as the days progressed my pain and issues grew worse.

I remember, the Saturday after the accident my roommate and I were waiting in the checkout line at Khols and I had to quickly reach for her to hold onto her because all of the sudden the world went black and I was afraid I was going to pass out. I luckily didn’t but that was just the beginning of some of the worst for me.

So, I went from having pain in my mid-back to having increased mid-back pain, severe pain in my head and neck and unexplained dizziness. The doctor told me that I basically added insult to injury. Great… As time progressed I was seeing multiple doctors and going to appointments, several times a week, but I wasn’t doing better. Maybe slightly, but my progress was minimal and no one had answers for my constant, insane, dizziness or why my neck pain was not getting any better.

Over the past two years I have seen at least 10 different doctors been to three different locations to get MRI’s, x-rays and a PET scan done and been in two different states with many and I mean many appointments. And out of all the doctors and all of the appointments I have been to only one doctor had the solution for me.

I moved to Texas last October because I was in so much pain on a daily basis I could no longer take care of myself and I couldn’t keep asking my friends to help me out. So, I uprooted my life, had to quit the job I had loved and been at for four years and moved back in with my parents at 26 years old. It was a huge blow to the ego and the hardest decision I ever made.

And when I first got here I was met with the same disappointment as I had in Tampa. One doctor even refused to see me completely because I was a car accident victim and he refused to treat anyone with an active car claim, even though he is acclaimed to be one of the best spine doctors in the country. My mom took that one hard because she couldn’t understand how any one would deny treating someone who was in pain but for me it was just another notch on the belt of disappointment and to chalk it up to the sucky medical system.

I was seeing a chiropractor on a regular basis, both in Tampa and in Amarillo and you know what, chiropractors care way more about you as a person than any MD I have ever come in contact with, besides one. Both of my chiropractors cared and tried their hardest to help me find a solution even if it meant they wouldn’t be the ones to treat me. Once they realized that their treatment wasn’t helping me they reached out to other doctors asking them who I should go to or what I should do.

In April of this year my chiropractor here in Amarillo finally reached the point of not knowing what to do so he reached out to a college and they recommended I go see this particular doctor. So, an appointment was scheduled and at the end of May I went to this doctor.

Here is the thing, at this point I had given up. I honestly thought that this intense chronic pain was going to be my life forever now. I had been trying for a year and a half and had seen at least 10 different doctors. I had tried my damndest with no results. I was tired of fighting for something that felt like a losing cause. So, when I walked into that building and into the doors of that doctors office I was honestly just going to please my mother and my chiropractor, and to say I did it but once again it was a bust.

You guys, my mom walked out of their crying and I walked out of their speechless.  This doctor looked at me asked me a question and before I could even finish my statement he announced that he knew what was wrong with me. Then he would ask me to continue and do the same thing again. All I had to do was talk and he knew what was wrong with me and how to fix me. And then when he did his physical exam he actually explained and showed me with my body what was wrong, why it was wrong and how he could fix it. He didn’t even have to look at my imaging to know, he did to humor me but he didn’t have to. This doctor had the solution for me. After what seemed like forever of trying to find the answer I had it within grasp.

I had to wait another month before I could begin the treatments he wanted me to do and during that time I was just praying that I wouldn’t be in the 10-15% of this not working, like I had been with everything else, and that these treatments would actually work and that by the end of the six to nine months I would be better again. (The photos above are pictures of some of my treatments.)

I am happy to say that as of the end of September I finished my treatments. Guys, not only was it successful but I finished earlier than expected! I actually found a doctor that cared, I found a doctor that had the answer and I am not 100% but I am way better than I was two years ago. I had given up hope that I would ever utter those words. I had given up hope that I would ever get to have a life outside of my bed. I had given up hope that I would live a life where I wasn’t in constant pain.

I am happy to say that as of last week I have a part time job! I am happy to say that I don’t spend all of my day in pain, some but not all! I am happy to say that I can drive again! I am so happy to say that I am doing better than I was two years ago or even six months ago and that once again I have hope for my life!

I will still always have some pain because of some of the damage that was done and may have to go in for “touch up” treatments on occasion but in comparison I feel 90% better than I did two years ago. I honestly still can’t believe I get to say that.

I know this has been a long post but I wanted to share on the anniversary of that horrible day of the good news and that I have hope again. And I am so thankful to so many different people for their help and encouragement during that time. If it weren’t for those of you that helped I wouldn’t have gotten to the point of getting better. I am so grateful that God places people in our lives to help carry us when we no longer can. So, thank you to those that were some how apart of my story these past two years!

These past two years were the hardest years to date but I have learned a lot from them and I know it will help me in the future. And I am excited to see how my story continues because of them. Never thought I would utter those words either.

Hindsight

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I look in the mirror and wonder where that 20 year old girl went. It’s been seven years and a few months since I saw her last. She was young and naive. But she was full of spirit, of dreams, big plans and a heart for the world.

It’s been seven years and a few months since I saw that girl.

Life happened. It happened in big ways. And when I think about it quickly I don’t regret the steps I’ve taken in my life. At least not regret but maybe sometimes I wish I could have done a few things differently.

When I really look at things too closely, like under a microscope closely, that’s when I begin to doubt and really wish I could change the past. And maybe even sometimes regret past decisions.

I wish I could have told 20 something year old Alisa to not fall for that guy, because you two were honestly better as friends than a couple. And I would say that the relationship was far from healthy, because both parties weren’t, and in the end he would break your heart. But at the same time how can I regret it or change it when I learned a lot from that heartbreak.

I wish I would have told the 22 year old-heart broken girl not to move to Florida because in the end she would get her heart broken, again, not by a boy but by people, and that she would experience pain and a hell that she never thought she would experience in her life. But again, she has learned a lot from that four years and the hell she went through and is still partially going through. And I also meet some pretty amazing people that I will never regret meeting. So, again how can you regret or change something that ultimately changed you?

It’s easy to examine hard times up close and not get disappointed by all the bad things that appeared. It’s easy to get caught up in wanting to change those things and it’s even harder to not believe the lies that if you would have done something different that maybe everything would have worked out well. Or even the lies that if you had done things differently, if you had listened to your heart and your gut maybe you wouldn’t have missed certain things and because you did maybe you missed your shot completely. When that mind cycle happens that’s when you really questions your choices.

Hindsight. Hindsight is a nasty wee bugger.

It hits you hard. You want to change it. But in the end… in the end, it was all good for you. Even when it still tastes a little bitter in your mouth and is hard to swallow, you still know that deep down it was and is good for you. Just like the nasty apple cider vinegar and honey water I have been drinking. I know it’s doing good things for me but I honestly want to throw up every time it touches my tongue.

Here’s the thing though. I do my best not to dwell on the nasty stuff. What I do is I try to learn from it. I take the nasty drink but let the nutrients of the hard stuff soak into me.

Hindsight is our best teacher. It helps you to change your future. You can’t change your past but you sure as hell can change how you do things moving forward.

I never want to regret my past. I may for a moment or two because I have to work on forgiveness. Forgiveness towards the people involved but especially towards myself. Once I do that I know I can move forward, maybe being sad or disappointed at the past but not regretting it. And when I do feel like I regret a choice I know it is just another opportunity to dig down deep and learn and figure out how to forgive again. Because I know my past and that darn hindsight is teaching me and helping me grow.

So, twenty something year old Alisa thank you for walking through the hard stuff so I can move forward with more knowledge and more good stuff than I had before.

I look in the mirror and I don’t see the same person, but what I do see is a stronger woman, more confident, more sure and ready to take on the world in a new way.

Not Just The 99

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If you’ve been reading my blog you know some of my recent spiritual journey. For the past couple of years it’s been a little touch and go with me and God as I’ve just been trying to figure out what I really believe.

During all of this heart and soul searching I decided to stop going to church. I needed a break. My soul was hurting and I needed time to rediscover God for myself and not worry about if I was doing things the way people were saying. It just needed to be me and God for a bit.

I actually had a friend word it perfectly the other day. She said it was like I was in a spiritual ICU, only letting select few in during visiting hours and working on healing.

Well, a few weeks ago I got brave. And when my family announced they were going to church, after much internal debate, I decided to go with them. I was so nervous walking through those doors, not knowing what to expect and feeling like an alien after having been in my little bubble for so long.

I ended up being pleasantly surprised. It was a good introductory service for me to go to. The church is headed in this new direction, so the preacher was not necessarily preaching but discussing, with the church, their plans for moving forward. But, him being a pastor couldn’t help but slide in a few little revelatory statements in his speech. One in which particular stuck out to me.

Now, I don’t remember how he specifically worded it but he mentioned how God always leaves the 99 to go after the one. I can’t tell you how many times I have heard that in my life, as I’ve grown up in the church and you always hear about lost souls being referred to as the one. But this time the words hit me differently.

I sat there and all of the sudden God speaks to me and tells me that I have been the one, too.

Now, maybe some people may get offended when God tells them they were the one, after they’ve known they’ve been a 99 all their life but I wasn’t. In fact it took everything in me not to start weeping tears of joy, because I didn’t want to draw attention to myself.

You see, when I heard those words something in me broke because all my life I’ve believed I was just the 99 that there was nothing truly special about me because I’ve always been the obedient one that stays with the flock and ultimately gets lost in the crowd. But when I heard those words it brought healing to my heart because I knew that even though I had asked Jesus into my heart at five years old, he still pursued my little heart. Because that is who the one is, not someone who isn’t a believer but one who’s soul needs pursued.

Even though I had been apart of the 99 for nearly all of my life as I began to wandered a bit from the heard I still knew his voice but had to figure things out for myself. But he saw me wander. He stuck close by my side and as I continued to wander a bit farther and a bit wobbly he followed, he protected and he wept for me. He knew me out of the 99. I was not just another body in the heard, I was important and he still came for me. He still pursued me even though I decided I wanted to see what all of this was really about I wanted to know if it was all worth it and what really mattered in being apart of the 99.

My whole life all I have ever wanted was to be known, seen and heard; not to just blend in. I wanted to be special and I especially never felt special when it came to the church and even God. I figured you had to either be a phenomenal speaker and/or have had a more questionable past but with an amazing conversion story. I had neither. So, I figured I was just another name, another face lost in the crowd because I’m “a good one” and there is nothing special about being just good.

When I did “wander away” because of certain circumstances it was not my intention to see if God would follow and prove he loved me and I was special. Nor was it my intention to gain some sort of breakthrough/conversion story. I honestly just wanted to know what was real and what wasn’t and where I honestly stood with all of it. But I did find out that God loves me and still pursues me, always. I will never have an awesome conversion story but I will have my story. My story of how I figured out what being in relationship with God means and how the hell that I did go through impacted my life and how I am getting my breakthrough day by day.

So, I had my moment of understanding what it means to be “the one” in Gods eyes. It has nothing to do with what I have or haven’t done. What I have or haven’t said. What I have or haven’t seen. It has everything to do with how he feels about me, that his heart is always for me and he will always show me how much I mean to him. The biggest thing about being the one is that he pursues me, no matter what, he pursues me. That is the greatest gift I will ever receive.

Going to church, again, was scary. And the second time I went I even had a panic attack and wanted to run out of the room. But I keep trying because I want connection with him as much as he does with me. Even though I know I am struggling with people at the moment I know that God can still use them to speak truth. So, I will keep going and keep finding those little gem moments where I get truth that speaks to my soul and keeps me in pursuit of my One.

Revelation Smack Down

Have you ever had a memory that becomes a revelation that smacks you right in the face, because even though you’ve been looking for it for a while, it then hits you unexpectedly?

Well, I had that moment recently. Mine came with a little help from Lisa Bevere’s book Without Rival. She was talking about relationships and how they often will disappoint you, despite the fact that we often put so much stock in them.

“We can trust God with our safety and believe that he will bring forth the promise on our lives even when those closest – even our own husbands – let us down.”

When I read that I had my “Aha!” moment.

You see, about 2 years ago I was standing in worship, at church, when I heard God say to me, “would you still worship me like this if it was just the two of us?”

My instant reaction was, “of course!” And I pictured myself in that same room; hands outstretched praising him but it was just him and I in the room. No musicians, no other people, nothing. But that’s what I thought he meant by worshipping alone.

Little did I know that’s not what he meant at all.

That question was asked of me right before my car accident. So, I was still dealing with chronic pain but not to the extent that I have been. At that time I was still in a position of more positivity, joy, hope and faith.

Flash forward a few months later and I am lying in a bed unable to participate in life because of the injuries I sustained and the problems it was causing me to live life normally from day to day. I was unable to attend church any more and I slowly watched my hope and faith dwindle away.

It was then when I heard that same question asked of me. And I laid there thinking that I didn’t know how to worship him in the same way, lying in a bed. My hope was gone. My joy was gone. Everything I ever believed about healing seemed shot to hell. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know how to worship him, like I was accustomed to.

After a time comparison started to creep in… I knew of other people that were in worse shape then me and they could worship with such reckless abandon, I was ashamed that I could not do the same. So, I just pushed myself further from even trying to find the answer of how to worship where I was at because I compared myself to others and thinking I would never measure up.

That was the winter of 2016.

I have thought of that same question again and again over the last year and a half but never dwelt on it much because I was still in comparison mode and walking in a lot of shame. Which was holding me back from truth and reality.

One thing that I have learned a lot in the last year was that my faith was mostly based on what other people told me and what I experienced at the time. And even though I’ve held onto some core values and a few key things there wasn’t much of my faith that was just me and God. Things we had battled out together, that we discovered together seemed lost and muddled in what was everyone else’s, not mine. And so when push came to shove I had nothing real to hold onto because it was always someone else’s idea of God.

So, I’ve realized that I depend on people to give me direction or even, at times, tell me what to do and think. Since, I have realized that this is what I have been doing all along and know that it isn’t right. Still, there has still been this thing inside me that has thought that maybe if I find a significant other he will help steer me or teach me how to get back to a good relationship with God. I know, silly but it’s the truth.

But then I read that passage which was followed up with a revelation smack in the face. This whole time, THIS WHOLE TIME, I have been having other people tell me what to think and feel about God but not fully doing those things for myself, always seeking someone else to tell me what to do about him. I keep putting myself in this nasty cycle. Afraid that if I think and feel for myself that I will be wrong. And God was asking me if I could just stand in worship with just him, no one else, no other voices, no other distractions just him and I, one-on-one in each other’s presence.

I couldn’t believe it. I still can’t. It took me two years to fully grasp what he was asking. He wanted just me and my heart. Not a bunch of other people in the mix. But I kept throwing them and their answers in there because I thought that was the right thing to do. All along he just wanted me.

How simple and yet beautiful is that. To worship him alone, is to worship him alone.

I’m not saying outside influences are all bad, but I am saying when it comes down to it there are only two people in the relationship that truly matter. Always seek advice. But always know when it’s time to be with just the one.

Danny Silk talks about the circles of influence and that at the core circle it should just be you and God. Well, I have been putting everyone else in that circle with God, that I think has all the right answers. Oh goodness… What have I been doing?!

There has been this weight that has been lifted off of my shoulders ever since I realized I’ve been depending on others to think and make decisions for me and inserting them into my relationship. And even though I knew I could before, I finally feel like I actually can make my own decisions and have my own relationship. I know that moving forward it is him and I figuring things out and discovering how to be in relationship, just the two of us.

And now, when someone else gives advice, I hear a sermon or read a book I don’t have to take everything at face value. I can sit back a moment and ask God what he thinks and figure out what that looks like with our relationship. Everyone is getting back into their proper places when it comes to influencing me.

I am far from figuring everything out and I will never pretend to know the answers. All I know is that this is where I need to be in my life. I feel like I am rediscovering a lost relationship after a really bad break up. But I am excited for the journey.

Real Or Not Real

Real or not real. You might recognize this phrase if you have ever read or watched the Hunger Games. This is the phrase that Peeta uses with Katniss in the final book/movie when he had his brain washed and was trying to decipher the truth. He asked it a lot because everything had become so distorted. Real or not real.

Real or not real. This is a question I have been asking myself for a while. Now, I am not saying that I have been brain washed, but I am asking this question about God, about all I have ever been told about him and even about my own personal experiences I have had with him. I am trying to decipher the truth about him for myself, not because of something someone told me.

As you are well aware by now I have been dealing with chronic pain issues for the past two and a half years. And in that time I have questioned a lot of things about God. I will admit that in the beginning I was so proud of myself at how I was handling the situation and how “tight” God and I were. My faith was not wavering, I  mean I may have had a few doubts and a couple of questions but I wasn’t mad at him and I didn’t blame him. I just knew that this was going to be the lesson of a lifetime and I was going to come out the other side a champ!

But, as the months drug into a year and a year drug into two years my faith began to wain. My heart lost faith and hope. My heart began to blame God even though my head knew it wasn’t his fault. Then I got mad at him, even though outwardly I said I didn’t but on the inside I was boiling. I mean, everything I had ever been taught about him felt like a lie. Real or not real.

As the months have gone on I honestly got more mad at myself than at God and I pushed myself away. Why would I do this when he is someone I need during this time? Because I was ashamed at my unwavering faith. I was ashamed at my thoughts and the way I was thinking and processing things. I was ashamed that I was loosing hope.

I mentioned in my last post that I am a perfectionist but this doesn’t just include with people but God as well. And since I wasn’t being the good perfect “christian” girl that I knew to be I pulled away. I began to compare myself, to the max, to the success of other christian people that had walked through hard stuff; like a bad ass warrior. But, when I looked back somewhere along the way I had dropped my shield because I grew discouraged and tired of fighting. So, I felt I didn’t measure up with those success stories and I didn’t want to disappoint God. So, I shut him out because to me that was easier than disappointment.

Have you caught onto my problem yet? The thing I have been forgetting this whole time? If not, don’t worry I will share later on.

I have always said that I never want to be the “fair weather” christian. That I don’t want to be the one that only follows God when times are good and then say he’s a jerk when times are bad and walk away. So, when I felt myself going that way I got mad. And because I am a very determined person I have pushed myself to not walk away.

I have known the whole time that none of this has to do with what God has done. Because he didn’t cause my pain or my life to fall apart and he definitely hasn’t walked away from me. But, I definitely keep pushing myself away from him. I’ve known all along that the problem was me and not him. But there is a difference between knowing something and acting on something.

Because I’ve known this I have been trying to work on me, my heart and my attitude. I’ve been working on figuring out what is real or not real. I’ve been trying to fix the problem. I am no where near close “perfection” it is a hard process, unlearning things and figuring out what’s truth. And my relationship with God is not even close to what it was before all this happened. But, that’s okay and we are making real steps to come to a real relationship that he and I have worked on, not a relationship that I have made because someone told me what I should do or think.

It’s so messy, but so real. But isn’t that what any relationship should look like? Especially your relationship with God.

Now, back to my problem. Did you guess what it was? Well, it’s that I have been trying to do all of this alone. And I am not talking about not with people, even though that is mostly true. I am talking about I haven’t been doing this with God, like at all. You see I also have this issue that I have to have to solution and all of the problems fixed before I come to the person to let them know that I had an issue in the first place. But this leads to a very lonely and tiring road because I am constantly trying to fight a battle that someone else has already won, instead of walking with them through the process.

Now, I am not saying that if I would have come to this realization sooner that I would have been healed sooner. What I am saying that it would have made walking through this process a lot less lonely. Because pulling myself away from help doesn’t do a darn thing for me except make the whole of a hell lot harder to get out of. I can’t expect to find the right door to walk through if I turn the hall light off, causing me to stumble in the dark. Holy Spirit is called the helpmate for a reason. But my darn independence streak, that can be such an amazing quality, can also get me into a lot of trouble.

I will probably right a book about all of this one day, I mean I kind of already wrote a small novel on it just now. But for now here is a small insight into my spiritual journey through all this. I hope it is helpful to someone, to know that maybe you aren’t alone in thinking you’ve failed and that comparing yourself to other people’s journeys is far from helpful because your journey is your own and only you can walk through it. I don’t have all the answers, I don’t pretend to, but I know I am on my way to figuring out my own story.

Love,

Alisa

27

Today I am a year older. Today I am twenty-seven years old. In all honesty I am having a harder time swallowing this number than when I turned twenty-five. Everyone else told me they had a hard time with turning a quarter of a century, but it didn’t even phase me. I think I am struggling with this year is because I have officially hit the late twenty’s, and am only 3 years away from 30.

I always get very contemplative around my birthday. I think about the past year and even past years. I think about all I have accomplished and all I haven’t. I think about the people in my life now versus who was there in the past. I think about how I have changed and how I am still the same. I think… a lot.

This past year was one of the hardest years of my life. It was filled with a lot of heartache, disappointment, loss and just hard stuff. I have learned a lot but definitely not things I ever thought I would have to learn nor in the way I thought I would. Needless to say this was not at all what I planned for my mid twenties.

I have been thinking over the past few weeks about how different my life looks at twenty-seven than I ever imagined it to be. I mean over half way through twenty-six I moved back in with my parents because of my health issues and now I am starting twenty-seven in the same boat. Moving back in with my parents or having chronic pain was never on my “to-do” or bucket list, especially at this age.

I mean five years ago I almost got married and figured, that even though that relationship ended, that I would have found someone else and be married by now. Or maybe I would be living overseas somewhere doing some sort of missions work or just exploring and taking pictures. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine moving back home and having to depend on my parents because I physically can’t take care of myself like I once could.

It always is funny to me how we picture our life and what we think it will be, at a younger age, and then when we get to that imagined age, most of the time, it is completely different then what we imagined. I’m pretty sure it almost never is they way we pictured it.

For instance, I remember when I was around twenty, I though that by the time my baby brother graduated, which I would have been twenty-four, that I would come to his graduation and that I would be married and maybe even have a child by that point. Well, that was not the case when his graduation hit and I’m no closer to that “plan” now than I was three years ago.

I don’t regret that during my twenties that I haven’t gotten married and had kids. I have enjoyed the majority of the last 7 years. I have traveled the nations, had the opportunity to live on my own (with roommates), go to ministry school, made incredible friendships and just experienced life. I have had to opportunity to figure out who Alisa Marie Paul is over the past several years. And that, is something I will always treasure and never wish something different for myself, besides the chronic pain saga.

Which brings me to my next contemplative though of turning another year older. Even though the past couple of years have been difficult I am grateful for the hardship in the matter that I have gotten to really figure out who I am and who I am not.

The majority of my life I have spent my time trying to be someone that everyone else wanted me to be. I have that nasty perfection mentality that if I don’t do everything and say everything just right that everyone will hate me and not want to be my friend or love me. So, even though I got to discover who I am on my own without my parents, I also spent a lot of time trying to be the person others wanted me to be, depending on what circle I was in.

But, the past two in a half years I have gotten to figure out who I am without people. Because I spent most of my time at home, alone, I began to discover who I am without people. And I have let down a lot of walls of perfection. I have stopped caring, as much, about what people think of me. I share my honest thoughts more openly because I really don’t care I just want to be honest with people. Of course I still try to do it in kindness but I want to always remain honest with people and if they don’t like the truth or me then that’s okay and I am not going to die if not everyone loves me. I need to remain true to myself.

And I am really grateful that I have stopped trying to be other people or how other people want me to be. Because, even though I am still on the journey of discovering the honest me I know that I am working on being true to myself and not some idea of me that someone else came up with. The freedom of just being myself is exciting and brings so much more peace to my life.

So, here is to twenty-seven. To finding healing for my body. For continuing the journey of the real honest me. To experiencing new adventures that I didn’t imagine for myself. To just enjoying the ride, even if it is a little daunting at the moment. To another year of mistakes and learning. To just living life as best I can, in each moment.

Thanks for sharing a moment of your day with me.

Love,

Alisa

The Random Things I think (part 1)

I promised a lite-hearted post, so here is my lite-hearted post.

I am going to do a series of sorts, sharing my random thoughts. I want to make it a series because I’m constantly changing what it that randomly comes into my mind. As an normal person does ;). I really just want this to be something more fun. A different glimpse into my thoughts and maybe how crazy or silly I am, at times.

So, in all honesty some of these I have probably spent way too much time thinking about some of these. But again, just a glimpse into my interesting mind. So, lets beginning with part one.

  1. So, have you ever been watching a movie or tv show and the person has something in their hand, like a stack of books or something, then all of the sudden they have to go out of the room, for some reason, leaving the stack of books or whatever behind. And I always wonder if the person goes back and picks up those things or does someone steal them? What happens to the inanimate objects that get forgotten all of the sudden? I know, something that I have spent way too much time thinking about. Because obviously it isn’t real life and it’s just a scene and no one cares about the books. But I have spent a lot of time thinking about it.
  2. Okay, this one I definitely know I have spent too much time thinking about. Everyone always says that tomatoes are a fruit, not a vegetable, because they have seeds. But in all reality they are the only ones; cucumbers do, bell peppers do, avocados do and I’m sure there are a couple more. But then why do tomatoes get singled out for being called a fruit even though we treat it like a vegetable. So, my thought is what if we made a separate category for the poor vegetables with seeds? (again, I’ve thought too much about all this. And it gets better.) I have even thought of what the group could be called, we could call them fruigetables and fruiggies. Yup, there you go, the inside of my brain is a wondrous place and feel free to laugh at the craziness.
  3. Okay, does anyone know of someone who cooks potatoes in the microwave? Well, my mom does but the thing that I wonder is is it really a baked potato if it is cooked in the microwave? (This thought brought to you by family dinner.)
  4. So, my family has lived in Texas for several years and I’ve come back and forth from the town they live in over the years. And I will never get over their verbiage of different things. Such as calling a basket ball hoop a “basket ball goal”. Colored pencils are called map colors. “Fixin’ to” does not mean a person will fix something but rather it means going or doing something. And a bunch of other random things that don’t make sense to a person who was raised in the north 😉

5. Does anyone else ever wonder if dogs think like humans? I mean they each have different personalities so do they think or how do they think? Also, what do dogs dream about? One of our dogs was dreaming the other day and her tail was waging while she was. I’m just curious about the mind of a dog.

6. This one is a little more deep or serious. I’ve been thinking a lot about how offended a lot of people are in our country. But when I look at the big picture of it all I realize that the generation before me are the biggest offenders in being offended. Not to say there aren’t people in my generation that are that way too. But overall I feel that the older generations are overly offended and our generation is sick of it. But because that’s what we’ve been taught, even though we want equality and to just work together, when there is a subject that we are passionate about people get easily offended when someone thinks opposite of them. From my personal experience it’s because when you want to share your experience, calmly, the other person gets all huffy and wont listen to your side. So, it just causes more tension and separation. I could go on, but I’ll leave it at that.

Hope you all enjoyed a little insight to my thoughts. Again, I plan on making this a series so stay tuned for more insights into my brain.

Alisa